Can of Worms

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This maybe a bit long but, I want to say something about social media and those who are single.

Firstly being single is not easy at all;  that is even without any restrictions put upon us.  I have been single for years and I am used to being on my own, not having hugs, not having a handheld, just the lack of physical contact, so these days of lockdown are no different for me. 

HOWEVER, this is not the case for ALL single people especially those who are “newly” single, or perhaps single through no choice or fault of their own.  Missing a hug, being held, just being touched in a caring way is being missed greatly. What I mean by “newly” single are those who had a loved one around them recently but no longer for whatever reason that maybe.  Even if they have family and they are not in the house this form of physical contact is missing, Zoom just doesn’t cut it, sorry.  Would these new first easements help?  Again still no physical contact.

Social media is like a photograph, just a moment in time.  This can be manipulated, to make it look like everyone is hunky-dory, fake smiles, as well as real ones and yes I have seen tears there too.  Yes, there is some very dark stuff out there on platforms too.  But who wants to hear that someone is not doing well when struggling in the want of need. 

Here’s my situation, if I can help someone then I am happy to do so.  As I have already said, I am single and I have got used to my own space, and yes I do sing and talk to myself.  I am also self-employed. For me, social media is a  double-edged sword.  I use it to promote; to let people know what I have been up to, what’s coming up.  All good.  Yet you will not find me on there when I have a day; when I struggle to get up, days when I feel that everyone is better than me when my confidence is on the floor, self-esteem has flown out of the window.  As I like to say the “can of worms” has been opened.  The can name FEAR, and the worms are a pile of ….  As I described this to someone and when asked: “what do I want to do with this pile of worms?”  My response was “feed the fish”, a much better one was given by someone who was listening said, “put them on the earth, plant a seed and see it grow”.

Now I know that I have to work through these worms of mine, and this morning I started to label each one.  Jealously, envy, people know so much more than me, I am not any good at what I do,….. And so the labels grew.  But then something popped into my head, and that was something that happened in a Zoom meeting with other Aromatherapists.   Suddenly some of these worms where having to be relooked at,  I needed to relabel them.  They were no longer; ‘I know nothing’, ‘no one listens to me’, ‘self-esteem’ etc.  I held onto this moment, and as I did so, I remembered other situations where some of these other worm’s labels could also be liberated. The weight that I carried with me for a day or more was so much lighter.  But can I put this out on social media?  ‘I am having a can of worms day!’

How can we help?  I say “we” as we are all in this together.  I have no doubt that some of you who are reading this, are  thinking the same thing- when you are down, social media is the last thing that you want to look at. We all go through periods of time when the ‘can of worms’ can overwhelm us, and getting though these thoughts can be so much harder when you are on your own.

I ask you to reach out to those you know who are on their own, more so than those who have someone living with them.  Listen to them, try to understand what it feels like not have anyone to give a nudge to, or touch their arm or hand. 

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Having a dog really has helped me, and I would be lost without him.  He is my excuse when walking and talking out aloud that he is just not listening!  But he gets me out of the house each day, and now I can do longer walks the poor lad has to listen to my ramblings for longer.

For those of you who are single and the “can of worms” is opened, I hope that you have read this and know that you are not on your own, other people are missing the physical contact.  Thank you for getting this far, please read on,  you may find this useful.  I too am missing the physical contact that I get through my sessions that I give as an Aromatherapist and Reflexologist, for me when I can do treatments once again please come and see me even if it is just for a hug. 

Here are some pointers that have helped me, and there is lots of help out there.

  • Going out even for a short time and just say hello to someone and smile at them – even when you don’t want to.  I find this helps me to realise I am not invisible.
  • Being mindful, I don’t look into the future, I just work moment to moment
  • I own the times when I am not great and know that is ok. If you do not have low days, how can you recognise and savour the good ones?
  • Know that this time will pass, it may take moments, hours, days or longer
  • It is OK to ask for help, better still to let someone know that you are having a “can of worms” day.  You may find that they too are feeling the same.
  • Be true to yourself.  You are the one who has to live yourself 24/7/365.
  • Don’t hold on too tight to the worms, not only will they make a mess in holding them tightly, but how can you see them,  let alone let them go?
  • It is OK to ask for help by people you don’t know, sometimes it is a lot easier to ask as they don’t know you and woe betide you look like a failure.  You are not a failure in asking for help;  it shows that you know yourself as you know your strength.
  • The jar of good moments.  I have a jar with a pad of paper where I can go to and write down the moments that I have felt pride in myself, or that I have achieved something, or shown that I do know something, where my self-esteem and confidence can get a boost.  Don’t forget to date it, when you look back you will soon see you will find these moments all the time for you are looking out for them. 
  • Have a good long bath or shower. For me, water is about emotions, and in having either of the former helps, as when the water goes down the plughole so too do some of those emotions.
  • Have an early night.  Sleep is the best healer and it is free!
  • Have a complementary therapy session, as through massage treatment you will be looking after your mind and body.  As an Aromatherapist, I know that essential oils can help on a psychological level as well as being therapeutic. 

I hope that some of these things help you for I know they have helped me.  I have no doubt you have your own list and that is great.  For me I keep reminding myself that not only am I living through history, but each day is an adventure and filled with possibilities.  Sometimes it’s hard to see when the can is open though.


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Just a Little Patience

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The meaning of Patience – the ability to wait or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed. – Cambridge English Dictionary.  Oxford English Dictionary put it this way – Calm endurance under pain or weariness or provocation; perseverance.

For those who have met me know that I often say that I have the patience the size of a gnat’s brain.  Basically none at all.  Yet we are at this time learning all about it.  We have to.  Things are not in our control, oh how we try to twist things to make them so, and the harder we try the less we achieve.  Follow me in my journey of understanding patience.

We have lived a life where everything is here and now.  Looking at social media videos and in 2 minutes they have created something that in reality has taken hours if not days.  So the rest of us lesser mortals give it a go and suddenly we think hey this is not working, I have followed all the steps, I am done! 10 minutes later.  We have forgotten that things take time to achieve, to learn, to grow, to become.

“All great achievements require time” – Maya Angelou

I was talking to a man today who reminded me that the pace of which we expect things and what the reality is are two very different things.  We again expect people to suddenly just do a job just like that, but the reality is that it will take time to do it.  In the days before the lockdown, it may have only taken a day maybe two, now we are looking at 3 or 4 days at the best.  That is not the same for all business but please do consider this. 

The mindset of it can just happen maybe no longer.  We have to allow ourselves the time to get well, allow for not everyone being there and running around after our wants.  In this time I have no doubt that you have found that your priorities have changed,  to one perhaps of the following – love, spending time with family and friends, health, community, being supported. 

The security blanket has for many been taken away from us, that blanket is of course money.  For some it was a wage cut, for some they lost their jobs, and for some, they didn’t know how they are going to put food on the table let alone pay bills, and this for some happened overnight.  My question is, has the value of money changed, and your perspective about it?  I do not deny that we need it to pay for food and bills, but each day I hear that this big companies profits are down (my understanding on hearing that type of statement is that they are still making a profit).  Banks are now saying that they don’t need large buildings in the cities does that mean they can be knocked down and trees and parks planted instead?  What is it that we want? Things have changed, and for some so has their values.  Change is not easy to deal with at times, and with it comes a time to let go of the past and how things were; to how things are or could be.

“Patience is not passive, on the contrary, it is concentrated strength”. – Bruce Lee

What about the way we travel, have your thoughts changed about how you work or even get to work?  Does the family really need a car each or will one do?  Have you sat at home enjoying hearing the birds singing noticing that the air has changed and feels different but the reality of creating that has not yet touched you?  The family holidays to far off places all-inclusive are great and for some that are a holiday once or more a year.  Great.  But what happens if there are no more flights to far off places; that your holidays are now a ship, bus and or train to your destination, and you still only have two weeks, yet the journey takes about 4 days just one way.  This may or may not happen.  We the collective now have a chance to make changes.  If you like the clean air, hearing the birds sing, noticing how nature is almost at your doorstep, look at what we had to do to achieve it.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Lao Tzu

I am not here on the environmental side, I am here to say things have changed, we have had to change, and it has not been easy nor will it continue to be.  In being a collective or shall I say community we are reliant on others, and if others time is different do we go at the quickest or the slowest pace?

Let’s look at the need to get back to work.  Why?  Does work define you?  Does it give you a purpose in life?  Is it all about the money?  I have been listening to some reports from America; President Trump wants to open up the country and get people working again.  Yet over 80% of the population does not want that.  They want to be safe in their homes until it is all over.  But Trump wants everything back up and running. Why? Simple, it is all about his money and wealth.  For him, that is what defines him and it shows each time he gives a news broadcast, most recently “…could inject disinfectant into the veins…”.  Thank God he went on to say that he was not a doctor, but being in the position of power people listen to him and some lives have been lost, by this very method.  This is someone that you can clearly see it is all about him and money nothing else. 

Is that where your mindset is?  I am not going to judge you, but what I will say that you may find it harder to work with others and for the community may have a different way of wanting to work.  Are you ready for that?  Have I now added stress and anxiety where there was none?  Did you think things will go back to how it was?  Please note, it is not going to, it cannot do so.  Why?  The simple answer is FEAR. 

Fear has many coats and disguises.  Anxiety, depression, stress, anger, being defensive, aggression, scared, shyness, workaholic, overachiever.  That is a list.  Here is something, what happens if we acknowledge it and let it go. 

“Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.” – Anonymous

I found that money was my fear controller.  I was doing a job that was taking over my life and not helping me in the way that I thought that it would, namely my own business.  To start with it did but that soon changed.  I asked people who knew me if they thought that I suited the job, and the answer every time was no.  I then had to ask why was I doing the job?  What was my aim in doing this job?  I needed money – I had savings, and I had work coming in doing the therapies and mediumship but that was not enough.  So the fear of not having money drove me to the job.  This was a light bulb moment for me, truly it was.  I then said enough I have to let this go. 

I sit here on the 3rd of May and I have not worked or had more than £55 come in from work that I have done since 15th March.  Don’t get me wrong, I have worried about how to pay the bills, where is the money going to come from?  I have said I have some savings, and that is what I am using.  But I have cut back on many things, for now, I ask do I want it?  Do I need it?  Is it a luxury item?  Do I REALLY need it?  In most cases, the answer comes back as no.  But I am ok, much better than I would have been if this had happened a year ago.  I would have been beside myself.  I am also aware that I am in a better position than some others that I know of, and therefore I do not feel that I have the right to complain.  But this is part of my journey of letting go and gaining patience.

Patience is my test, to acknowledge that things have changed, I don’t know what work is going to be like when the lockdown is lifted.  I am not sure how I am going to work.  But I know that I will be needed, I will be able to help others and in turn, they will be able to help me.  How or what it is going to look like, I don’t know, but I hope to go into the next adventure with an open mind and heart.  This is my time to grieve for what was and could have been, but allow that space to be filled with hope, faith, gratitude, belief, love, trust,  compassion, and the excitement of new possibilities. 

What we thought we could never change, the world as a collective has shown it can.  Good luck with your journey, no matter what stage you are at, do not judge yourself by others, only you are on your path.  You will meet others along the way, allow them to help you and you to help them.  No longer should it be the I but the WE.

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Grief

It is external, not tangible, a mixture of sadness, joy, happiness, anger, selfishness. Life is a circle, we are born to die just as the trees, plants, and animals do, why then do we want to live forever?

Each day brings in its own uncertainty and although we may think we know what is going to happen we do not. Sometimes the day happens as much as we thought it would do and then again not.

Do we run away from making our final plans? Thinking this is not for me but for others? It will never happen to me someone else but not me! Ah but it will, we are not designed to live forever.

We are designed to fall apart to go and become part of the earth, plants, animals and sky. It is that we do not like change, don’t like goodbyes? Or is it the fear of the unknown? Or could it be all of the above?

Is it the ones that are left behind that do not wish to let go and want the person to live forever And in doing so project fears onto the person who is dying. All sides have to accept and love death. To be able to let go, is it not wonderful for both sides?

Then the question is, has all that I need to say and do been completed comes to mind, are there things left behind things that need to be said and left unsaid? There have been times when as a medium I have heard one side or the other saying “I wish I had said….” “I wish I told them I loved them”, we assume so much take things and people for granted and only know of the loss when it is no longer there.

Accept that we in this physical form cannot last forever, no matter what science or willpower or tablets can do what then would we gleam to say to ourselves.

To live each day as it matters. To let those who matter to us know that we love them for who they are not what they can do for us. Some people will leave a large mark on the world such as setting up charities and foundations or sadly be known for killing others. For many that mark left behind maybe so much smaller but no less insignificant, a mark that of love, of deeds done, a memory, a teaching to others, perhaps you have inspired someone around you.

Each day we make a ripple we don’t always know who has been touched by the ripple but one has been made, and it could be as small as a smile, or a listening ear. We are all important in this form that we have here, but to understand that we have accept that we cannot always be here in this form. Acceptance and understanding can release us from not doing anything at all.

To make the point that we are all important if we look at the song Eleanor Rigby who had no one to come to the grave, no one was there. Yet a mark was left, her story, of those who are lonely, or out of the way, it is just their ripples are soft and gentle. The story goes that The Beatles came across the gravestone and a song was written from that. The ripple is now heard through the decades, we whose ripple it is may not see the outcome of what we make, but it is there still affecting those who are touched by it.

Don’t underestimate the power we all have to touch someone, you are still making a mark, the ripple is continuing, it is only the physical form that is no longer.

Say the I love yous to those who you can and say why you love them. Let the ones that have made a change in you or your life know how. Let the ones that have influenced you, know that they have and how. Why the how? It shows that ripples are being made and continue to ripple.

I say rejoice in the fact that a person has been in your life for a reason, you may not be able to tell them, but a change has been made to your life through them. Be thankful they have been there, what would it have been like if they were not?

For me the grief is always about the physical, the laugh is not heard again, words said never to be heard again, the hug, the hand being held, the late-night calls, the routine they gave us. Again we grief for our loss of the physical, and not to rejoice in the soul of what they offered to us or gave us, and that is the selfish part of grief.

We want, we want, we want…………….. Not you have, you have been given, you have been shown, you have been held, and you have been there, you have been loved.

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Testimonials

I have had a few remarks over the years, and I would like to share them with you.  This page will continue to be updated.

To start off with I would like to share a letter that I have had from someone to who I have given two psychic art readings to a lady who came along to a demonstration or two at the start of 2017.

Testimonial Letter

The letter reads:

Hello,

I would just like to say that I have received two readings by the psychic artist and both readings were accurate and the two drawings were amazing.  I could recognise my maternal Grandmother by her eyes, her hairstyle and her mouth. 

The two drawings were done on separate occasions, but were identical they were truly as good as any photograph.

I thoroughly enjoyed the readings and the drawings which I was informed I could take home with me.

Kind Regards

Kathy

30/01/2017.

This is from a woman who has never had a massage and came to me as she wanted a couple of things to look at.  The lady had an Aromatherapy Massage and here is her feedback.

I didn’t feel any discomfort after, just the feeling you get when you’ve been working hard in the garden.  Yesterday I found I could turn my neck at junctions much more easily, so felt in better control. It gave me a lovely, peaceful feeling too. So a big thank you and I will definitely have a massage again, without waiting for something to ache first! 

R,  from Ludlow, June 2018

Here is part of a text I got.

….really did thoroughly enjoy watching you last night and what a wonderful sense of humour to with…oozing with talents…could of watched for so much longer….

R, from Shropshire, October 2018

Here is a testimonial for a massage that I gave from B, in Shropshire 2020

I highly recommend a massage session with Emily
She immediately put me at ease and was super friendly and very knowledgeable about all the essential oils and their properties.
Using a combination of her knowledge, skills and intuitiveness regarding my health background and current needs she selected a wonderful blend of 3 oils for my massage.
It was super relaxing, rejuvenating and really enjoyable. and I slept well and deeply for the first time in ages.
Thank you so much, Emily

Here is a testimonial for a set of massage treatments that were received by J, in Shropshire 2020

Emily Bakers aromatherapy massage treatments were superb. The initial consultation was about my current health and problems so that she could offer the correct essential oils to combine with my massage treatment. The follow-up massage treatments combined with varied essential oils really improved me, both psychologically and physically, leaving me overall relaxed and pampered. I would highly recommend both for health reasons and personal pampering.

Do you want to leave me a message or testimonial?  It’s easy, just fill the form below and you will see it here.

Perceptionary Art for Sale

Perceptionary Art for Sale!

Here I am on a market stall in Ludlow – Made in Shropshire.  Selling not only my Perceptionary Cards, but original pieces of art, ranging from A5 in clip frames to larger than A4 canvases.

Here you can see me making artwork at the market stall.

I noted that there were many people who were interested in them so I thought that I would put them here.  I have put a small description of size and price next to them, if you would like to buy an item please contact me using the form below, or call me on 01584 529053 or 07771 621755.

Some of the art is in a clip frame, however, the canvases are not.  If you require the canvases to be framed then I can do this for you at an additional cost.

  • CARE NOTE – THESE ARTWORKS ARE DONE WITH WAX, THEREFORE THEY WILL MELT AND CHANGE IF PUT IN DIRECT SUNLIGHT OR OVER A HEAT SOURCE. 

A6 card on white A5 card in a clip frame are £15.00 plus £5 for postage and packing, total cost £20.00:

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A5/001

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A5/002

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A5/003

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A5/005

A5 card on A4 white card in a clip frame are £25.00 plus £5 for postage and packing, total cost £30.00:

A4/001

A4/002

A4/003

A4/004

A4/005

A4/006

A4/007

A4/008

Canvases are individually priced, the details of which will be listed under each canvas:

2020C/001Unframed canvas 20cm x 20cm

2020C/002 Unframed canvas 20cm x 20cm

2020DC/001 Unframed deep set canvas 20cm x 20cm

2020DC/002 Unframed deep set canvas 20cm x 20cm

A5C/001 Unframed canvas A5 size 14.8cm x 21cm

Framed Canvas 32.5cm x 24cm £45+£5 postage and packing

Framed Canvas 64cm x 53.7cm £110+£10 postage and packing

Please note;

  • CARE NOTE – THESE ARTWORKS ARE DONE WITH WAX, THEREFORE THEY WILL MELT AND CHANGE IF PUT IN DIRECT SUNLIGHT OR OVER A HEAT SOURCE. 
  • The colours on the above images may differ from the artwork.
  • Not all of the canvases are framed, those that are, are stated so.
  • If you would like any item framed, please inform me and I will be happy to do this for you there will be an additional cost incurred.

Ludlow 7 Exhibition

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So How Did I Get Here?

One day I was looking through the local paper and I noticed a small article about a competition looking for local photographers and to enter.  They were looking for people who do not normally exhibit, who were local to Ludlow, for someone who had been taking photos for a while.  In fact they were looking for 7 people.  The idea being that there were 7 walls in the gallery and so each exhibitor would have a wall.  The selection process was that the 7 would be picked by a panel and randomly too.  So, my thought was OK, would I be silly in entering into this competition I better give them a call to check.  That is what I did, I gave the gallery a call and said you know I have never (the truth and honest way is the best) done anything like this, I don’t even know if my photos are worth a consideration, as I normally use my camera on my Sony xperion 3 phone as it is handy.

The reply I got was why not come to the gallery have a look around and I can chat to you about it.  There really isn’t all that much time left to enter though.  That is what I did.  In going to the gallery, and finding wonderful pictures, my thoughts were that I was kidding myself.  And yet there a part of me saying “yes, but you never know, if you don’t give it a try you just wont know, and if they say no is it going to kill me am I going to die?  NO.”  I showed Peter (gallery owner) a couple of images from my phone and he was not discouraging at all, in fact he was saying how I get hold of a form fill it in with one image and then send in another e-mail with a few more images.  I was not being turned away – he wanted me to enter, really could I be in with a chance?

So I went home filled in the form submitted about 6 photographs and then waited.  And waited, for the all important email telling me if I was in or not.  But I was in which was great news, and so daunting at the same time.  I now had to chose between 4 to 6 images these had to be framed and given the dimensions of the images too and then think how much do I want to sell them for.  What I had not accounted for being a total armature in this was the resolution of the image is not great.  This means that I could not do great big prints I could only go up to an A4 size anything bigger looked wrong.  Small was great but not when you had to take into account the wall space you had as well.

I went to the local printers and got the printing done as well as the framing although not much time was left for the framing.  It was done and now was the fact that I had to hang them.  None of the frames are the same size so I decided on an abstract way of hanging the prints.  Totally different to everyone else but that is OK as it reflected more about me and who I am.  The exhibition started on the 11th February 2017 and will run till the 11th March 2017, they are there for you to have a look at, please do.  I am overwhelmed that I got through but proud that I had a go and how far it got me.  

I say this to all out there, if you don’t have a go how do you know if you can’t do something or how far you will go?  Have a go, for me I knew the worst they could say was “no thank you not out kind of thing, thank you”.  Is that going to kill me – NO.  So why not have a go!

Here is what my set of photos looked like on the day

About Me

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I have been working as a Spiritual Medium for over 12 years, working in churches, and centres as well as on a one to one basis. I have also graduated from Derby University as a Complementary Therapist working with Aromatherapy and Reflexology. These aspects of my life roll over to the everyday, using the oils to enhance each day and I use the Reflexology to note the changes in my body. The mediumship I use to gain a better understanding of myself and of those around me. As we always on the search of why are we here and for what purpose.

From this website you will be able to see that I enjoy working with my mediumship which is always expanding, why not look at the label of Mediumship and Psychic Art.  Psychic Art is something that I enjoy doing very much and one that I feel I am able to give something physical back to the ones who have a reading.  I have and do the following; church events (such as services, suppers and speicals), one to one readings either face to face or through Skype, events, one to one psychic art readings, and party bookings.  If you would like to find out more or would like to ask me any questions why not drop me a line using the form below or call me.

As for the complementary therapies that I carry out, I too enjoy them working with clients and seeing them develop and see the empowerment that they can attain.  If you have not come across either Aromatherapy or Reflexology theny why not try a taster session.  For more information please contact me and I will be happy to answer any queries.