The meaning of Patience – the ability to wait or to continue doing something despite difficulties, or to suffer without complaining or becoming annoyed. – Cambridge English Dictionary. Oxford English Dictionary put it this way – Calm endurance under pain or weariness or provocation; perseverance.
For those who have met me know that I often say that I have the patience the size of a gnat’s brain. Basically none at all. Yet we are at this time learning all about it. We have to. Things are not in our control, oh how we try to twist things to make them so, and the harder we try the less we achieve. Follow me in my journey of understanding patience.
We have lived a life where everything is here and now. Looking at social media videos and in 2 minutes they have created something that in reality has taken hours if not days. So the rest of us lesser mortals give it a go and suddenly we think hey this is not working, I have followed all the steps, I am done! 10 minutes later. We have forgotten that things take time to achieve, to learn, to grow, to become.
“All great achievements require time” – Maya Angelou
I was talking to a man today who reminded me that the pace of which we expect things and what the reality is are two very different things. We again expect people to suddenly just do a job just like that, but the reality is that it will take time to do it. In the days before the lockdown, it may have only taken a day maybe two, now we are looking at 3 or 4 days at the best. That is not the same for all business but please do consider this.
The mindset of it can just happen maybe no longer. We have to allow ourselves the time to get well, allow for not everyone being there and running around after our wants. In this time I have no doubt that you have found that your priorities have changed, to one perhaps of the following – love, spending time with family and friends, health, community, being supported.
The security blanket has for many been taken away from us, that blanket is of course money. For some it was a wage cut, for some they lost their jobs, and for some, they didn’t know how they are going to put food on the table let alone pay bills, and this for some happened overnight. My question is, has the value of money changed, and your perspective about it? I do not deny that we need it to pay for food and bills, but each day I hear that this big companies profits are down (my understanding on hearing that type of statement is that they are still making a profit). Banks are now saying that they don’t need large buildings in the cities does that mean they can be knocked down and trees and parks planted instead? What is it that we want? Things have changed, and for some so has their values. Change is not easy to deal with at times, and with it comes a time to let go of the past and how things were; to how things are or could be.
“Patience is not passive, on the contrary, it is concentrated strength”. – Bruce Lee
What about the way we travel, have your thoughts changed about how you work or even get to work? Does the family really need a car each or will one do? Have you sat at home enjoying hearing the birds singing noticing that the air has changed and feels different but the reality of creating that has not yet touched you? The family holidays to far off places all-inclusive are great and for some that are a holiday once or more a year. Great. But what happens if there are no more flights to far off places; that your holidays are now a ship, bus and or train to your destination, and you still only have two weeks, yet the journey takes about 4 days just one way. This may or may not happen. We the collective now have a chance to make changes. If you like the clean air, hearing the birds sing, noticing how nature is almost at your doorstep, look at what we had to do to achieve it.
“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” – Lao Tzu
I am not here on the environmental side, I am here to say things have changed, we have had to change, and it has not been easy nor will it continue to be. In being a collective or shall I say community we are reliant on others, and if others time is different do we go at the quickest or the slowest pace?
Let’s look at the need to get back to work. Why? Does work define you? Does it give you a purpose in life? Is it all about the money? I have been listening to some reports from America; President Trump wants to open up the country and get people working again. Yet over 80% of the population does not want that. They want to be safe in their homes until it is all over. But Trump wants everything back up and running. Why? Simple, it is all about his money and wealth. For him, that is what defines him and it shows each time he gives a news broadcast, most recently “…could inject disinfectant into the veins…”. Thank God he went on to say that he was not a doctor, but being in the position of power people listen to him and some lives have been lost, by this very method. This is someone that you can clearly see it is all about him and money nothing else.
Is that where your mindset is? I am not going to judge you, but what I will say that you may find it harder to work with others and for the community may have a different way of wanting to work. Are you ready for that? Have I now added stress and anxiety where there was none? Did you think things will go back to how it was? Please note, it is not going to, it cannot do so. Why? The simple answer is FEAR.
Fear has many coats and disguises. Anxiety, depression, stress, anger, being defensive, aggression, scared, shyness, workaholic, overachiever. That is a list. Here is something, what happens if we acknowledge it and let it go.
“Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.” – Anonymous
I found that money was my fear controller. I was doing a job that was taking over my life and not helping me in the way that I thought that it would, namely my own business. To start with it did but that soon changed. I asked people who knew me if they thought that I suited the job, and the answer every time was no. I then had to ask why was I doing the job? What was my aim in doing this job? I needed money – I had savings, and I had work coming in doing the therapies and mediumship but that was not enough. So the fear of not having money drove me to the job. This was a light bulb moment for me, truly it was. I then said enough I have to let this go.
I sit here on the 3rd of May and I have not worked or had more than £55 come in from work that I have done since 15th March. Don’t get me wrong, I have worried about how to pay the bills, where is the money going to come from? I have said I have some savings, and that is what I am using. But I have cut back on many things, for now, I ask do I want it? Do I need it? Is it a luxury item? Do I REALLY need it? In most cases, the answer comes back as no. But I am ok, much better than I would have been if this had happened a year ago. I would have been beside myself. I am also aware that I am in a better position than some others that I know of, and therefore I do not feel that I have the right to complain. But this is part of my journey of letting go and gaining patience.
Patience is my test, to acknowledge that things have changed, I don’t know what work is going to be like when the lockdown is lifted. I am not sure how I am going to work. But I know that I will be needed, I will be able to help others and in turn, they will be able to help me. How or what it is going to look like, I don’t know, but I hope to go into the next adventure with an open mind and heart. This is my time to grieve for what was and could have been, but allow that space to be filled with hope, faith, gratitude, belief, love, trust, compassion, and the excitement of new possibilities.
What we thought we could never change, the world as a collective has shown it can. Good luck with your journey, no matter what stage you are at, do not judge yourself by others, only you are on your path. You will meet others along the way, allow them to help you and you to help them. No longer should it be the I but the WE.